This is it.
I never realized how fast time goes by, and I’m struck with this realization in the wee hours of night, with a midterm in my final year of undergraduate studies just a few hours away. I swear it feels like I’ve just already finished high school, but here I am, already thinking of my future, and my plans after graduating.
As much as I love Beirut, but I think it’s time for me to leave, once and for all. I finally decided I’m going to continue with my Master’s Degree abroad, and afterwards see where life takes me.
I can’t focus anymore on anything. All I have is deadlines for research papers, deadlines for exams, deadlines for applications, deadlines for paperwork, deadlines for the visa. I’d rather fall dead with all this pressure I’m feeling right now.
I’m worried, and nervous. Again, this is going way too fast. And I can’t stop thinking of the looming impending doom and the thought or idea of all my hard work not turning into fruition.
I am excited don’t get me wrong, but I’m afraid. All the time spent, money spent, years spent, it all goes down to these couple of months ahead of me.
What awaits me I don’t know yet, but I sure do hope it’s going to be fucking great. I tend to strive under pressure and fear, and these feelings as dreadful as they might sound, they might be exactly what I need right now.
All one can do is hope for the best now.
Just breathe, it’s all going your way. You got this.
I just wish I was in a speeding car right now, on an empty highway, letting go of all these thoughts, and just the idea of wasting pressure time is all I crave. It can wait.